Entertainer
You know, it takes a lot of balls to entertain an audience, but with a little help from the Wicked Devil, you’ll be a performing artist in no time…
So here are some easy ways to get peoples attention and ‘bear’ in mind, it usually works better after a couple of bevies!!
The Bear is a fantastic idea to entertain people when walking home from an afternoon session, it works like this. Approach a random stranger in the street and ask him/her “have you seen my bear”? They will obviously reply “no”! Then it’s your cue to start growling and make lots of bear actions with your arms in the air!!!! Whilst doing this, also make bear noises for full effect… GRRRRR!!!!! Works every time!
The Rabbit is another great entertaining idea! Simply approach people in a similar way as the previous performance, only using two fingers from each hand, hold them against your forehead and make Bugs Bunny actions with your mouth. Ask them “have you seen my Rabbit.. it eats carrots”? This one works exceptionally well on Asian tourists! You could even make carrot eating suggestions with your hand, but people might get the wrong idea and smack you round the mouth with the thought that you are sexually frustrated!!!
Go get ‘em!
Taxi Man
Have you ever been locked out of a nightclub after 3am in the morning because of the new 3am lock-down? It sucks! You’ve popped out for a cigarette and can’t get back in because of the Liquor Licensing regulations. Your friends are still in the club and you can’t even let them know that you’re out there. Then you walk to the taxi rank and the row of people is as long as the Great Wall of China! Well, in my eyes and many others, this is very dangerous and needs a solution.
Taxi Man is a simple way to help out those stranded late night stragglers and a great opportunity to make some quick cash. All you need is a white Ford Falcon and a tank of gas! Then simply drive around the taxi rank areas leaving the back door unlocked. When stationary soon enough someone will jump in. Then in time you will be driving enough people home to make a nice tidy sum and will be making the world a far safer place.
Way Out
This section deals with how to get the hell out of Surfers Paradise when you’ve got no money.
Now, I don’t recommend this to everyone as Australia can be a very dangerous country, like any other, it does have many psychos! But, if you’re totally stuck for transport and need a sharp exit, a good way to catch a lift is to go to the nearest gas station. Once your there, hang around until you see backpackers pull up and approach them. This way, you’re not sticking your thumb out for the driver to select you and it’s far safer. Who knows what adventures you night get yourself into with this technique?
However, if you have a couple of days until you need a lift, then leaving messages on backpackers notice boards is another great suggestion.
Drink for Free
Drinking in Surfers Paradise can cost you an arm and a leg, that’s a fact! So we’ve devised this fun packed list to help you out;
1. Go to entrances of nightclubs to look for brochures or flyer’s that read ‘Free Entitlements’. Most club venues give away similar loss-leader promotions to create more exposure. The only thing is you wont be able to stand continually at the bar and skull. The trick is to spin around while drinking and then return your glass to the bar. This way, you’re technically leaving the bar and returning for another fresh one 
2. Apply for a job as a bartender and skull as much as you can until you get fired. Make sure that you have a good pair of running shoes as most bars have security.
3. Lie on the floor behind the bar and wait for dregs to drip from slosh bucket underneath draft pumps. In all fairness, who would try this but, it is for desperate measures. (Not recommended)
4. Gate crash party. Now, there are lots of planning involved in this one. First you must research the party and find relevant names as you might not even get in. Next, before leaving the house make sure that you’re wearing the correct attire according to the rest of the party goers. Bring an empty box gift wrapped. Research is the key!
5. Steal other peoples! It’s important to make sure it’s not stolen from the washroom, as it probably has been urinated in. Checking the temperature is paramount.
6. Make a bet with someone that you can drink 3 pints as quickly as they can drink 3 shots. Rules – you can’t touch their glasses, and they can’t touch yours. You ask if they’d give you a pint head start. Here’s the trick; get them to agree, and then drink your first pint as quickly as possible. Then as the other person picks up a shot glass, you place your pint glass over one of the other shot glasses to shield theirs. They can’t touch your glass and loose the bet!!
7. Another cleaver trick is to bet someone that you can twist a cigarette into a knot without it breaking. It actually works if you wrap the plastic film of the cigarette box tightly around one cigarette. It will tie in a knot, just make sure you have apractice run before hand.
8. If all else fails and you’re still determined to have a bevy, stick a bunch of grapes on the bar and wait for them to ferment!!!!
Happy Days!
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